Completely unofficial. Extremely timely.

CAN YOU SING? GREAT. CAN YOU STAY ON THE TOUR?

Even better. The opening slot seems a little… complicated. So we built the internet's unofficial audition desk.

01 / MINIMUM QUALIFICATIONS

THE BAR IS HIGH.
THE APPLICATION IS NOT.

Original preferred. A fearless cover will be considered by absolutely nobody official.

Clear the calendar, fuel the van, and start pretending stadium crowds don't terrify you.

Talent helps. A wildly optimistic belief that Ed might see your pitch helps more.

This site is satire, the audition is unofficial, and nobody here can put you on the tour.

02 / YOUR COMPLETELY UNOFFICIAL AUDITION

Give us the essentials. We'll turn them into a pitch worthy of a very ambitious social-media post.

WORST CASE?

BEST CASE?